I Have a Mistress Friend

She is a mistress. Mistress to two men. One man at where she lives. The other man is from the capital city, who often visits her.

Yes, she is a mistress. It means she is a lover of a married man.

*sigh.

I know her from gym. She always does her make up at the same spot. She comes to the gym almost every day. We bumped at the locker, casually made friendly greetings. Well, initially she asked if I brought q-tip because she forgot to bring one.

I am a quiet person for someone whom I don't know. I tried to make a 'normal' or friendly facial expression, but avoiding a longer conversation at the locker. However, it is hard not to make responses to chats or happenings inside the locker room. You know, girls, young women, older women, we are all the same when we get together. Loud chats, personal rants, naked butts, topless bodies.

It all started when this 'not-so-young, but not-old' girl tried to make casual conversation with me. Like, what do I for a living, do I go to the gym every day, why she never sees me at RPM class, do I use Personal Trainer. Vice versa, I tried to ask similar questions, so we kind of knowing each other at the same level. It happened every day.

By the way, she is almost on her phone during locker time.

Then one day, after receiving a phone call, she looked like almost crying. She said she wanted to work, get employed, but her boyfriend didn't allow her to work. Every time she brings up the intention to work, the boyfriend will tell her to go shopping or go to beauty clinic to get facial.

Another day, she ran out from RPM class, and said she couldn't concentrate because she was just too stressed.

Sometime I saw her at an empty alley outside the gym, talking over her cell phone.

I did not want to get into her business.

Then, one day she just started asking me if her outfit that day looked good on her. "Is it too short?" she asked. It was too short. I couldn't say that, though. I said to her, if you don't have to go to a public place after gym, that should be okay. Tough situation. This kind of question happened multiple times. She thanked me for being honest with her, not just saying she looked good, like other people. That's what she said. She said she felt convenient asking me questions because I look wise and trendy.

LOL... I look wise. Trendy, yes I can accept that because I put the efforts to be trendy. But, being wise?

Other morning, she then asked me what to do about the employment offer. I simply said follow your heart. Follow what your heart tells you, not someone else. She said her boyfriend did not like the idea of her getting a job because it will reduce her available time to meet this man.

She opened up about having a boyfriend in other city, whom she asked to buy Under Armour pants for her. Then, she said her same-city-boyfriend often come with lots of money and asked her to go spend the money. And she said, both men are married.

I was really speechless to hear her confession. As a wife, a happily married wife, of course I became speechless to that fact. I told my husband about me having a mistress friend, and her confusion whether to work or not work.

I don't know exactly why I wrote this, and what is the main objective of my posting. Having this new kind of 'friend' gives me a new perspective of mistress.

Why she became a mistress? I see the $$$ is the reason. She told me, back when she was in high school, she was active. Working as Promoter Girl, Umbrella Girl, presenter, host in her home town. Then everything had to cease when she was being kept by a man. She literally said 'being kept'. She said after being kept, she became stupid and brainless.

She is a product of a generation who wants instant result. No hard work, but wanting a hedonistic lifestyle. Kept inside an apartment, wait for the man, and his money.

I couldn't ask her, if she ever, in a second, in the tiniest thought, ever think about the wife of those married men. While lying next to the man, has she ever thought about a woman who is waiting for this man at home?

Can I blame the man who initially approached her and gave the proposition to her to be a mistress?

Can I also say that the wife to that married man also take part in this situation, making a mistress is possible to her husband? If she takes care of her husband very well, then the husband will never have a thought of having a mistress?

Is the system also to be blamed? How can an employee, salary paid by government, can maintain a mistress? How can a private company employee, be able to have extra cash to be handed to a mistress?

I met her yesterday at the gym. She told me she browsed my Instagram photos and felt that she can also have activities like mine. She said she wanted to have the feeling of being active.

I told her to get out of her comfort zone. If this kind of zone does not make her happy, I told her to leave it. Make a new life. She almost cried and thanked me.

I hope in the near future, I can changed this post title to "I Had a Mistress Friend".

Bali Pulina, Tegalalang, Gianyar, Bali

We went to Bali Pulina on Sunday, September 4, 2016 on our way from Kintamani to our home in Denpasar. This is an agro-tourism premise, which is located on the same road with the famous terraced rice fields at Tegalalang.

Sekarang sedang trend wisata alam dan wisata pertanian. Jadilah, kami memutuskan untuk berkunjung ke Bali Pulina, sebuah tempat yang sedang nge-hits di area Tegalalang, Gianyar. 

Location of Bali Pulina, just Google Map it!

I was kind of eager to know this place as I have saw several postings on Social Media, and there was one enquiry from Jakarta about Bali Pulina.

So, there we were, arriving at the spot. Bali Pulina has a large signage that was easily viewed. The parking space was quite ample. Once we got off our vehicle, we walked to the entrance where we saw a couple of Indonesians being directed to a ticket booth. The gentlemen who waited the booth told me that each adult has to pay Rp 100,000. Well... we are a family of 5, but I told him we had two kids under 10 (which was true). So, I paid for 3 adults, in total of Rp 300,000. Here, we must pay cash. If we want to pay by debit/credit, the staff would take you inside to settle it at their souvenir shop.

Entrance Fee to Bali Pulina

Menurut saya, tiket masuk ke Bali Pulina termasuk mahal. Kalau tidak siap uang tunai, staff di pintu masuk akan menggiring Anda ke toko souvenir dimana ada kasir dan EDM untuk menggesek kartu Anda sampai berasap :) Oya, tiket ini nanti bisa ditukarkan dengan satu cangkir minuman pilihan Anda, dan satu porsi pisang goreng. Jangan bayangkan satu porsi besar ya (itu tadinya bayangan saya!). Ternyata isinya cuma dua pisang!!! Hehehe.. Untungnya pisang gorengnya lezat dan terasa fresh. 

IMHO, the entrance fee is expensive. Inside, we can redeem the ticket with one cup of coffee (or tea) and a portion of banana fritter (2 pcs on a plate).

Bali Pulina set its landscape to look like it is a very old Balinese house with lush spices garden. I am sure Westerners and very modern Indonesian would love this place. First interesting spot was a little house with traditional coffee roasting tools. Across that house, they placed LUWAK and displayed the 'poop coffee beans'. My two little ones could not believe there is such beverage :)

Cute Photo Spot

This is a great photo spot, indeed :)

Orang Indonesia pasti senang berfoto dan memasukkan foto ke media sosial. Jadi, ya cocoklah di sini. 

Then we head up to a beverage counter that showcased all the variants of coffee and tea they had. The staffs told us they would bring the sample tray to us. During that hour (around 4pm), the place is crowded and we were lucky to get a good seating place.

Family of Prestaka at Bali Pulina

Once we found our table, we told the staff to reserve it, then we went to Bali Pulina famous photo spot.

The Famous Photo Spot of Bali Pulina

Looking Over the Green Lush of Tegalalang

Technically, we couldn't take photo at the edge of the 'coffee-bean-shaped' deck because of the backlight. So, we just took photo wherever feasible according to hubby. Ideal time to go to Bali Pulina and have your photo at that spot would be in the morning. Let's say 10 am.

Mom and mini

Wefie of Prestaka

Agar punya foto diri/kelompok yang bagus di titik cantiknya Bali Pulina, menurut saya, paling pas datang setelah makan pagi. Ya, kira-kira jam 10 pagi. Mataharinya akan menyinari wajah Anda secara tepat. Silakan dicoba!

One thing I noted from that photo spot, there was a building development in progress. Staffs told me it was going to be a villa. Hmmm... If only Bali Pulina can purchase the land across their premise, to keep the green view for their customers.

We waited for a while, then we got the sample tray of 6 coffee and 2 tea, plus traditional potato chips (which was spicy and so yummy).

The Beverage Sample Tray of Bali Pulina

Foto di atas adalah tampilan delapan gelas minuman yang bisa kita rasakan di Bali Pulina. Nanti kalau sudah coba semua, Anda bisa pilih satu jenis minuman per satu tiket yang dibayar. Kalau kripik kentangnya, hanya dapat satu piring kecil (dan anak saya berhasil minta nambah sekali, karena enak). 

Here is our amateur review of the beverage.



The banana fritter and lupis sticky rice were very tasty. The beverage? Hmm... not our favorite lah. They also had cookies in jars. Cookies were nice! When we want to pay, we had to go to the small cashier which is located inside their souvenir shop. It is a good strategy to get tourists to do impulse buying. We had to queue for a while.

Kid #1 and Kid #2

Pembayaran total belanja kita di Bali Pulina diselesaikan di kasir toko souvenir. Manajemen Bali Pulina membuat alur jalan sedemikian rupa (dan ada staf yang berjaga di titik-titik penting), agar tamu yang datang pasti keluar dan membayar. Trik yang jitu untuk para wisatawan yang suka tiba-tiba ingin membeli oleh-oleh di toko souvenir. Cuma, ya lumayan antri lah. 

Few things that we noted about Bali Pulina:

• Staffs were friendly and helpful.
• During busy days, service is quite slow
• The restroom was clean, at least the ladies one which I went.
• The landscape is nice, and they had real gardeners to work around.
• For city people, it is also a good place to show little kids about organic plants. We saw pineapple, chocolate, lemongrass, many kind spices, and even they had honeybees.
• Another parking fee at a place where we had to pay quite expensive entrance fee.

I reckon these kind of places charged entrance fee to make their place exclusive. It is always about supply-demand... freakonomics kind of thinking. If business want to have less crowd, a certain amount of fee has to be levied. I can understand. But still, I think Rp 100,000 to go inside Bali Pulina, enjoy the view and the average taste cup of coffee.

Kami yakin pemberlakuan tiket masuk ke Bali Pulina ini, selain untuk membiaya investasi pemilik, juga untuk membuat tempat ini tidak terlalu ramai. Serupa dengan Secret Garden Village, tempat-tempat ini memiliki spot cantik untuk foto dan dimasukkan ke media sosial. 

Bali Pulina, photo by Abdes Prestaka

Secret Garden Village, Luwus/Bedugul, Bali

On Sunday, September 4, 2016, the five of us went to Secret Garden Village. It is a relatively new place to eat, or a kind of touristy place in Bali. There have been quite some postings here and there on Social Media. The most published one is 3D photo of 'coffeeboat'.
Check out here:
Photo on Facebook
Photo on Local News

Well, as we are working in the hospitality industry, and we often have to propose site to visit, we have to get our own experience.

First of all, let me tell you that my blog post is my personal review and it is only based on our first visit on the date stated above.
Ini semua berdasarkan pengalaman kami mengunjungi Secret Garden Village pada hari Minggu, 4 September 2016. 

As I felt asleep in the backseat someway along Dalung to Beringkit, I cannot tell exactly how long was the trip. The location itself is on Google Maps, easy to reach to the place.

First impression when we reached the place, entering the spacious parking lot, I can tell that the place is well-designed, well-built, well-maintained. It surely takes taste and effort to have such venue. I did not take any photos of the front-look :(
Tampak luar tempat ini keren, terlihat rapi dan disainnya spesial. Tempat parkirnya luas. 

The greeter (I recalled there was a greeter) asked us to purchase ticket. Hmm... ticket to a restaurant, that was my first thought. He explained the ticket can be redeemed with food or anything in the gift shop. Good deal. It is like a gift voucher. Or like FDC at a club.

But then, I saw an acrylic stand on the ticketing desk:
Domestic @ Rp 50,000
Foreigner @ Rp 100,000

Hey, this does not look right. I asked why there is a price difference between domestic and foreign visitor. The girl inside ticketing replied because the foreigner will spend more money at this place. Ah, not a right answer, my friend. I don't see the rationale. I told them price discrimination at ticketing booth like this is not right. If we go abroad and get this kind of treatment, I surely will complain. I would understand if the price difference is hidden in agent's contract rate. Or, there will be certain different treatment for the foreigner because they will get a different liaison officer. All the staff there basically were speechless about this policy.

There were several EDC machines at ticketing so we can easily swipe for non-cash payment. Pretty convenient.

Untungnya, di ticketing ada mesin EDC BCA dan Mandiri. Kita bisa gesek langsung jika di dompet tidak ada uang tunai untuk membayar tiket. 

Bought 4 Tix

As it was quite a long trip from home (about 1.5 hour), our first needed stop was the toilet. The toilet was clean and also cutely designed. The place is also using a cleaning service company, I think it was ISS, judging from the cleaners' uniform.

*We also did not take photo at the toilet.

Then, we were asked by a receptionist, do we want to go to Coffee Tour, Beauty Tour or Restaurant? Hmm... I asked about the coffee tour. The staff there told us that we have to wait 5 to 10 minutes before getting ushered to the tour.

Let me tell you something :) My husband and I hates waiting if there is no good reason for it.

So, we told the staff that we want to go to the restaurant because we were hungry.

Then there was a staff who walked us to the restaurant. I asked the lady, did we have to wait for a tour guide? (I saw her hanging headset mic) She smiled and said she was supposed to be our tour guide. Then why we had to wait while she was sitting behind the reception counter? She replied that was their SOP. SOP to inform guests to simply wait 5-10 minutes before starting a tour guide. Why? Do we have to wait for certain number of guests for this tour? Nope... So? Just SOP.

Jadi ada standar dari perusahaan bahwa tamu yang ingin tour (kopi ataupun produk sabun) harus menunggu 5-10 menit. Bukan dengan alasan harus ada persiapan teknis atau menunggu kuota jumlah pengunjung. Hanya karena demikianlah standar operasional yang ditetapkan. 

We checked both, the restaurant and coffee shop, and decided to eat first, then my husband will go for coffee. Both are well designed, well built, and the staff were wearing nice uniform. The barista looked very trendy with the leather strapped black apron. Very barista look :)

The view is beautiful. It was currently developing the Secret Garden chapel and playground, which is scheduled to finish in October/November. We understood why Secret Garden Village applies ticketing, in order to filter people who just come in for 'Social Media' check-ins, sight-seeing and other no-spending group who would make the place overcrowded.

Jadi tiket sebesar Rp 50ribu tersebut, menurut kami, adalah cara tempat ini menyaring pengunjung yang memang benar-benar datang untuk berbelanja/makan di Secret Garden Village. Kami yakin tempat ini memakan investasi besar. Jadi memang harus ada praktik dagang 'jual mahal' untuk mencegah banyak yang datang 'gratisan' dan membuat tempat cantik ini terlalu ramai. 

Inside the Restaurant

The restaurant offered buffet food and a la carte. Buffet was @ Rp 99,000 ++. Food on the menu is fairly priced to my opinion. The most expensive one is their best food, which was Bebek Timbungan. I recalled it was over Rp 200,000++.

My husband had the buffet. It was Asian food. The taste is very acceptable, high above Bedugul standard. Seriously. I ordered Sate Ayam for kid #2 and kid #3. I ordered Lumpia Semarang. Kid #1 ordered Nasi Bali. I also asked for Dragon Fruit + Orange juice. All food came and we all digged in. All were yummy.

Another Selfie in the Restaurant

Saya sengaja memesan Lumpia Semarang. Tau kenapa? Karena Secret Garden Village ini dimiliki oleh pengusaha Indonesia asal Semarang. Naah.... Rasanya? Enak, sih :)







After paying the bill, which half of it paid using the entrance ticket, kid #2 and kid #3 wanted to see how to make soap. That was their expectation from the beauty product factory tour. Husband and kid #1 went to coffee shop to get cappuccino.

The three of us went to reception area and asked how long we had to wait to get the tour to the beauty product factory. Well, we did not have to wait, as there were a couple who had been waiting :)

We were greeted by Vita, a friendly staff who looked like she was just memorising all her script. But she was friendly. We had to wear headset so the tour guide's speech can be heard by each and every persons, and Vita does not need to shout.

We went inside Herborist, and the first room displayed several posters of natural ingredients of Herborist product. Yes, apparently, Secret Garden Village is owned by a producer of spa product.

Then afterward, we had to put our belongings inside locker because going inside the factory, photo takings are not allowed. We had to put on white-lab jacket, hair cap, shoes cover, and face mask. Everyone, except kid #3 because she's too small :) In this room, we were offered photo opp with 3D backdrop. It costs Rp 25,000. Well, we took the offer and had fun with the photo taking.

From that point forward, it was kind of boring. No real soap making was shown. We only walked at a corridor, and all the workers were behind glass-window. I was disappointed with that tour. I would not recommend that tour to anyone, except you want to go to that 3D backdrop room and to the gift shop. Before the gift shop, we went to a theatre. Hey, I thought here we will watch the movie of their much bigger factory in Java. But apparently it was just a TV ad of their product.

Edu-tour ini mengecewakan, karena tidak ada pembuatan sabun atau lainnya yang terlihat. Kita hanya berjalan di koridor, melihat para pekerja di balik kaca jendela. Kecuali mau berfoto dengan backdrop 3D (dan bayar Rp 25ribu) dan mau masuk ke gift shop, edutour ini buang-buang waktu. Saya pun tidak tau apakah ini cocok disebut Museum, seperti yang tertulis di temboknya. Sebelum masuk ke gift shop, kami diajak masuk ke Theatre hanya untuk menonton iklan sebuah produk mereka. 

At the gift shop, kids had fun because the soaps were displayed in such attractive ways. I made a short clip and posted on our YouTube channel. Please subscribe to our channel :)

I bought the avocado body scrub (tested it yesterday. Did not like it) and kiddos bought body wash (which was okay, but the smell is far below Body Shop products). No, we didn't buy any of the fancy looking soap because we never like using soap bars. Mommy did not want to waste money :)

We reunited again with Dad and kid #1 at the coffee shop. There were several well-kept Luwak in a large cage. They were producing their own Luwak Coffee. Coffee was good, but not better than Anomali. There was a live acoustic band. I did not know where they were from. They sounded okay. My husband said there was a guest who was crazily angry yelling at these musicians because it did not match the ambience. After hearing the musicians live next to us, I can say I agree with that crazy guest. Better to play some playback music for ambience.

The famous 3D photo spot at Secret Garden Village

View of the Black Eye Coffee & Roastery

Between the Coffee Shop and Restaurat

It was time to continue our Sunday journey. We wanted to go to Kintamani then to Bali Pulina at Tegalalang. Just when we were about to get on the road, the village security guy handed over a parking fee slip to us. We had to pay Rp 5,000. Hmm..

Verdict?

We will NOT return to Secret Village Garden on our own will. We may go there to take our family from Jakarta, or when we were super hungry on the road up north.
We will NOT take our foreigner friends and moreover our client, not until Secret Garden Village stop the price discrimination.

I'm Back!!!

Woooah, I am back to this blogger page.

Reasons why I haven't written anything for such long time (more than 2 years!!!):
- No time, lots of work deadlines  @KITASATUBALI, drawn into motherhood life of 3 kids.
- No time, having a lot of excuses.
- No time, addicted to other Social Media apps.
- No time, watched CSI, Law & Order, Common Laws, unReal, oh and yes, How Do I Look Asia.
- No time, prefer running and lifting weights than opening laptop.
- No time, had to attend mothers social gathering every month.
- No time, got MC gigs (hey, check my online profile on the top tab).

My off-line life is pretty full as described above. I am trying constantly to be a better mom slash wife, by waking earlier in the morning. It is great that my family is not demanding. Our breakfast is pretty simple. Bread, or omelette, or cereal for the kids.

Enough about my off-line life. I am thinking about this blog. What should I put as theme so I can an online influencer. Hahahaha... So ambitious. That's after seeing the famous Indonesian Youtuber, then our company was the local production for SKII Global Beauty Circle, when world-class beauty influencer a.k.a. blogger and youtuber were entertained for about 4 days at Ayana Resort Bali, plus there was Asian Viral Festival in Bali.

Product reviews are always hit and attractive. Like nowadays, anytime wanting to go somewhere or buy something, always Google it and read reviews online.

Anyhow.... This post is just my rant after 2 years. I will try to write more often. About anything. Random stuffs.

By the way, I just want to remind ladies out there, be strong. Be independent. It does not mean you should stay single. Having a partner in life, plus having children, moreover amazing ones, are the greatest gift from God. I am trying to encourage ladies to have ability to earn something, to show power, to stand tall, head up high.

Girl power!!

The Fear of the Mother of a Teenage Boy

Having a teenager is totally different than having a baby and toddler. It really challenges us to be a better person, by constantly testing our patience and our communication skill. 

The biggest challenge yet so far is about his social life. My boy never demands a motor bike (like most of the teens in his school), and never asked for extra cash, never wanted to go to mall on his own. He is pretty artistic (he plays good classical piano, speaks good English) and never refuse if I ask him to do the dishes or to take the dirty laundry to the laundry room. 

It is his puppy love scene that bothers me.

Not going into the details, but we as his parents have talked to him and reminded him that he is still very young. It is too early for him to decide the love of his life (or to extend such promise to any girls). 

Two things that we scared the most in this teenage years: drug addiction and sex relationship. The first thing can really end his life. And the second thing can hamper whatever dream and ambitions he has built. 

This is totally a new thing for us. No parenting tips can be exactly applied to each case. But exploring and observing cases happened to other families, can be a case study, where we learn to be a better person, a better parent.